I think most people have at least some self-awareness. Some people have a lot of it, while others seem to have almost none at all 😅
But what exactly is self-awareness? How do you develop it? And is it even something you actually want? Today, I’m going to talk about all of that 😊
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own thoughts, feelings, motives, behaviors, and patterns.
With self-awareness, you can answer questions like: ✨ Why do I react this way? ✨ What really matters to me? ✨ What are my strengths? ✨ What mistakes or pitfalls keep showing up? ✨ How do I affect other people?
Self-awareness goes beyond simply knowing what you do. It’s also about understanding why you do it and what impact it has.
A simple example:
❌ Without self-awareness: “I get angry during meetings.”
✅ With self-awareness: “I notice that I get angry when I feel like people aren’t listening to me, and that causes me to become defensive.”
So, how do you develop self-awareness?
It’s usually not something that happens overnight. There isn’t a magic switch you can flip. But there are several ways to develop it:
1️⃣ Self-reflection
Take time regularly to think about events, your choices, and your reactions.
Ask yourself: 💭 What was I feeling? 💭 Why did I react that way? 💭 What does this say about what I value?
2️⃣ Feedback from others
People close to you often see things that you miss. Sometimes they know exactly how you’ll respond in certain situations! 😅
Ask them questions like: 👉 What do you think my strengths are? 👉 What do you think I struggle with?
3️⃣ Recognize patterns
Pay attention to situations that keep repeating themselves.
For example: 🔄 Repeated conflicts at work 🔄 Procrastination 🔄 The same frustrations showing up over and over
Patterns often reveal important things about yourself.
4️⃣ Keep a journal
I know journaling isn’t for everyone, but it genuinely helps! ✍️
Writing down your thoughts and feelings often makes them clearer, and over time you’ll start recognizing patterns.
I like to compare it to this:
When my mind feels crowded, it’s like I have hundreds of sticky notes floating around everywhere. Once I write things down, everything feels organized again. 😊
5️⃣ Meditation
Again, not everyone’s favorite thing, but it’s been proven to be effective! 🧘♀️
Meditation helps you observe your thoughts and emotions without immediately getting pulled into them. As a result, you become much more aware of what’s happening inside your mind.💡 Tip: Meditation Moments
6️⃣ Try new experiences
Yep… stepping outside your comfort zone often reveals how you respond to uncertainty, change, and challenges. 🚀
And surprisingly often, those experiences lead to valuable insights.
7️⃣ Last but not least: Coaching
Good coaches have a way of asking questions that really make you think. 🤯
Sometimes one good question can teach you more than hours of reading.
But here’s the real question…
Do you actually want self-awareness?
There are plenty of people who have little interest in it—or who actively avoid it.
And honestly, they may have their reasons. Self-awareness can be incredibly uncomfortable 😬
You start seeing your flaws, fears, weaknesses, and unhealthy habits. Those things aren’t always fun to look at. Some people also protect their self-image (I definitely did 💁🏼♀️)
New insights can challenge the positive image you have of yourself, and sometimes it feels safer not to look too deeply. Then there’s the fear of change (been there too 🙈). Maybe you’ve become aware of a bad habit… now what?
Awareness is only step one. Change requires effort, energy, and consistency—and not everyone is ready for that.
Some people simply have different priorities: 💼 Work 👨👩👧👦 Family 🎨 Hobbies
It can also be influenced by your upbringing and culture. Sometimes you simply don’t know any different.
A lot of human behavior runs on autopilot. And if life feels comfortable enough, why ask difficult questions? There’s no immediate need. So people don’t.
And finally, there are painful experiences.
Sometimes deeper self-reflection can uncover old wounds or even trauma that you weren’t fully aware of. That can be a shocking and emotional experience.
My personal experience
I’ve been working on self-awareness since 2019.
But honestly? During the first few years, almost nothing changed.
I read a lot about personal growth, but applying it in real life was a completely different story. 😅
I also didn’t have many people around me who were working on themselves, which definitely didn’t help. Thankfully, that’s changed.
Today, I have more people in my life who are focused on personal growth, and I’m proud to say that I’m learning more about myself every year. 🥰
What I do still struggle with are people who lack self-awareness and refuse to do anything about it—but that’s a topic for another day. 😜
For now, I think that’s enough!
Thank you for reading 🩷